Horse Hair

I have problem hair. It's frizzy and dry and gets tangled into a horrible bird's nest at the nape of the neck. It gets so tangled so quickly, that I am afraid to brush it because it breaks and a handful of hair invariably appears in my brush after I'm done. Although it looks thick because of all the frizz and knots, it's actually quite thin from all the breakage. I've been trying to grow it long and it's doing quite well, but I always look awful because of my unsightly horse hair bird's nest. Everyone who knows me can testify to my passion for animals, but there is a limit.

You can well notice the striking similarities between this fella's hair and mine. I need some help.

Well water is very hard, filled with minerals, and leaves my hair looking even worse than chlorinated city water did. In the summer, I spend long hours in the sun tending to my garden, which leaves my hair dry and scorched, while in the winter, wood heat leaves my hair extremely brittle. Last summer, I even caught my hair in a power drill in an embarrassing moment of what one could label slapstick carpentry. My girlfriends are all aware of the love and hate relationship I have with my frizzy, matted horse hair.

In walks my beautiful, silky-haired, farm-raised friend Leslie, who despite having been a blonde, a brunette and a redhead within the past year has lovely, silky, shiny and fragrant hair. "Why don't you try Mane 'n Tail Conditioner? They sell it at the Feed Mill and you get a huge bottle for only $10!"

I laughed out loud. Horse shampoo? Up she goes to fetch her bottle. I was very surprised to read instructions for both human and animal use on the label.

Original Mane 'n Tail Shampoo and Conditioner was originally conceived for horses' manes and tails, obviously. Some smart lady must have tried it one day and discovered that it was just as good for her horse hair, than for her horse's hair. I was very surprised to find out that this is no well-kept country chick's secret. Both Jennifer Anniston and Sarah Jessica Parker,  are rumored to swear by it.

This morning, I went to our town's Feed and Seed Mill to get some turkey grower, cracked corn and layer's crumbs for our flock and treated myself to some Original Mane 'n Tail Shampoo and Conditioner (I am told you can also find it in city pharmacies). Tonight, I shampooed with it and used the conditioner as a leave-in treatment, as instructed on the bottle. I can already see a difference (my hair seems heavier, less bushy/frizzy, although it looks a bit greasy, an effect my friend Leslie says happens when she uses both shampoo and conditioner as opposed to conditioner only together with a regular ladies' shampoo). I guess we'll have to examine the long-term effects, of which I will keep you posted periodically over the next few months as I use up my new-found beauty product. It can't get any worse, really. Hopefully though, I'll end up looking more like this graceful-yet-strong-looking horse than this sad-yet-slightly pissed-off-looking young lady: